Short

The perfect parent and his child

The perfect parent and his child

"Perfection" means for each one something. We see her around us, we want to touch her or at least reasonably approach her. The meaning we give to this notion is largely determined by our temperament, personal history, education, degree of culture and certain models existing in society.

"Perfection" means for each one something. We see her around us, we want to touch her or at least reasonably approach her. The meaning we give to this notion is largely determined by our temperament, personal history, education, degree of culture and certain models existing in society.
Let's see what consequences occur when the desire for perfection occurs in the relationship between the parent and his child.
Some of the future parents dream that their child's destiny will be a "perfect" one. In this idea he imagines an education plan and, in their turn, they are perfect in the new posture. Most of the "perfect parents" are already proud of what they will do with their boy or girl, applying the right method.


"I will make him a lawyer"; "My face will be a great actress"; "My child will go to college, I didn't have this opportunity"; "I will teach him football, he will be the second Maradona!"
Why not invest in our child all our wishes, expectations and even our failures?
But, most of the times, the parent's plans have nothing to do with the baby who still doesn't know that "something has been prepared." True, a child "in the project phase" is a huge potential, but, contrary to what is believed, no "trajectory" can be printed, of choice.
The reason? It is very simple. Each individual has its own temperament and its own particular way of responding to stimuli. These cannot be anticipated. They can be at most discrete after they have manifested. Why? Because we are unique. Each individual is unique, unrepeatable: genetically, physically, mentally and spiritually.
As a result, no one can elaborate the perfect educational plan by which he can get whatever he wants from a child, with all his wonderful potential. The perfect method of becoming is a utopia.
Those who believe in it have every chance to make a lot of mistakes towards their children.
The most common mistake that some parents make is that they want certain achievements for the child, before they want to know it very well.
At first, the child is a free spirit. Full of curiosity, eager to explore the world, being smart, extremely responsive. For parents, the main focus becomes the child's education. This means placing and maintaining the predetermined trajectory, which will lead to the dream perfection. Most often, the child will not be able to get up and will not keep up with the parents' expectations.
But the parent manifests his legitimate authority, corrects any deviation from what he considers "good", punishes him, blames him, shows his dissatisfaction.
Punishment does not necessarily mean beating. It is the refusal of communication, the repression of the desire for free will, the prohibition of some exciting activities for the child, the hobbies, the offense with good science, the detention. But it should not be beaten, because a child has a great ability to receive signals from parents.
He will feel good about nothing, guilty for the frustration and poor disposition of his parents. Probably the refusal of communication falls the hardest: the child feels annulled, with his personality amputated, captive.
Thus begins the development of the inferiority complex, of the antisocial behavior or of a submissive character, easily influential, introverted, devoid of personality.
Psychologists believe that the inhibitions accumulated over a lifetime, suppress much of the potential we have at birth. Parents are not the only ones responsible for their appearance, but they could certainly be the biggest supporters of a beautiful, well-defined personality. They can really be the best friends of their children.